How We Feel 

When we go through difficult times, it can be hard to find the right words to describe how we feel. 

We all recognise the obvious emotions – happy, sad, angry, calm – both in ourselves and in others. But our emotional world is much wider than that, with a whole spectrum of feelings that we experience. 

We often label emotions as either positive or negative: happy is seen as good, while sadness is seen as bad. When in reality, our feelings are far more complex. This way of thinking can even get in the way when we seek therapy, because emotions aren’t simply black and white. What we call ‘negative’ emotions can sometimes be important and helpful. 

For example, allowing yourself to feel sadness can help you recognise where you are in life and highlight that something needs to change. This is why, instead of positive and negative, it can be more useful to think of emotions as pleasant or unpleasant. 

The emotions we experience can broadly be defined into four categories: 

• High energy, pleasant  
• High energy, unpleasant 
• Low energy, pleasant 
• Low energy, unpleasant 

Categorising emotions can help us notice patterns in how we feel over time.  

Naming your feelings 

Sometimes, though, it’s not easy to pinpoint our emotions until we see them written down. Having a list of words to choose from can make it easier to recognise and name what we’re experiencing. 

High energy, pleasant feelings 

Examples include; excited, surprised, determined, enthusiastic, curious, focused, amazed, joyful, inspired, productive, alive, upbeat, motivated, happy, optimistic, eager. 

High energy, unpleasant feelings 

Examples include; pressured, annoyed, restless, confused, uneasy, stressed, shocked, apprehensive, scared, repulsed, frustrated, worried, embarrassed, jealous, livid. 

Low energy, pleasant feelings 

Examples include; relaxed, understood, appreciated, comfortable, mellow, tranquil, safe, thankful, loved, supported, accepted, connected, fulfilled, satisfied, grateful. 

Low energy, unpleasant feelings 

Examples include; disappointed, disheartened, lonely, tired, bored, trapped, ashamed, humiliated, pessimistic, guilty, numb, hopeless, alienated, lost, disconnected. 

Tracking your feelings 

If you want to assess how you’re feeling and track how you feel over time, there’s a simple and free app you can use called How We Feel.  

The app is from the How We Feel Project, a nonprofit organisation created by scientists, designers, engineers, and therapists to help everyone better understand their own emotions. 

Being able to name your feelings can be especially helpful in therapy, as it gives us a starting point to explore what’s happening for you. 

If you’d like to book a counselling session to talk through how you’re feeling, get in touch. We can begin with a friendly chat about what you need.