Boosting Your Self-Esteem

Boosting Your Self-Esteem 

Self-esteem is a cornerstone of our mental wellbeing and shapes our perceptions of ourselves and our abilities.  

While some people exude confidence, seemingly effortlessly, others struggle with a nagging sense of not feeling good enough and fail to recognise the value they bring to the world.  


Where does low self-esteem come from? 

Low self-esteem can manifest in various ways, often stemming from experiences we’ve had throughout our lives. 

Lack of positive role models  

Growing up without guidance or someone cheering you on can hinder your belief in your capabilities 

Without positive, confident, or inspirational role models or mentors as an adult or when you were a child, you may struggle to envision a brighter future for yourself, leading to low self-esteem. 

Poor parenting 

The foundation of self-esteem is often laid in childhood, sculpted by parental influence.  

Harsh criticism, neglect, or unrealistic expectations can chip away at your self-worth as a child, leaving lasting scars that persist into adulthood. 

No support at school 

School should be a nurturing environment where children feel valued and encouraged to explore their potential.  

However, bullying, constant academic targets, insufficient SEN support, or a lack of recognition can erode self-esteem, leaving children and teens feeling isolated and unworthy. 

The effects of abuse 

Abuse, whether physical, emotional, psychological, or otherwise, inflicts deep wounds on people, corroding self-esteem in its wake. 

Childhood trauma – children subjected to abuse endure profound emotional turmoil, their innocence shattered by acts of cruelty. The scars of trauma linger, manifesting as feelings of worthlessness, shame, and self-doubt. 

Domestic abuse – in adult life, the cycle of abuse can continue in toxic relationships characterised by manipulation and control. Victims of domestic abuse often internalise the degrading messages hurled at them, believing they are undeserving of love or respect. 


Reclaiming your self-worth 

Despite the challenges posed by low self-esteem, it’s not something that is fixed forever – you can change it.  

With dedication and perseverance, individuals can embark on a journey of self-discovery and empowerment. 

Cultivate self-compassion 

Learning to treat yourself with kindness and understanding is crucial in nurturing self-esteem.  

Instead of constantly criticising yourself, practice self-compassion, acknowledging that everyone is flawed and deserving of acceptance anyway – including you! 

Challenge negative beliefs 

The first step towards dismantling low self-esteem is recognising the negative beliefs that underpin it.  

Catch yourself thinking negative beliefs and ask yourself; Are they rooted in reality, or are they distorted perceptions fuelled by past experiences? 

Set realistic goals 

Break free from the shackles of perfectionism and set achievable goals that celebrate progress, however small.  

By focusing on realistic objectives, you pave the way for success, bolstering your confidence in the process. 

Surround yourself with positivity 

Surround yourself with supportive individuals who uplift and encourage you on your journey towards self-improvement and more confidence

Seek out mentors or join communities where you can share experiences and glean insights from others. 

Seek support through counselling 

While self-help strategies are invaluable, seeking professional support can provide the guidance and tools needed to navigate the complexities of low self-esteem. 

Psychotherapeutic counselling provides a safe and empathetic space for you to explore your feelings and experiences without fear of judgment.  

By using an integrative method and individualising the counselling to suit each unique person, I can help you to gain self-confidence so that you can make different decisions in life, leaving behind unhelpful patterns of behaviour, unearthing your innate strengths and resilience, and increasing your self-esteem. 

Get in touch to arrange a counselling session whenever you are ready or to find out more about the process.